|
Remember when you were a kid and you were like, "I am never going to do that to my kids!"
And if you're like me, you have had moments of realizing that you are indeed doing exactly the same thing.
I got chatting with a mom this weekend. She was nervous to jump wholeheartedly into connection based parenting because it was so different from the cultural norms that she grew up with.
Patterns like:
- Kids should show respect to their elders and listen, not question
- I’m the parent, I’m the boss
- Pressuring kids into certain behaviors with guilt or shame
- Attempting to influence kids through expressing disappointment in their behaviour
(A lot of these probably sound familiar, no matter what your cultural background is.)
Despite her reluctance, she started implementing the connection based strategies that I was suggesting.
And her mind was blown!
She started to see shifts in her ability to stay grounded and calm when her kids were upset. She started to see changes in the connection she felt with her kids. She even started to see changes in her kids' willingness to comply and engage with her. She started allowing her kids to have more of a voice, engaging influence instead of control.
She is starting to shift generational patterns.
But it does not stop there.
As we got chatting about this, we realized that this connection and safety that she is creating in her relationship with her kids, will not only change their attachment patterns and emotional development, but it will have an exponential trickle effect down through her posterity. Her kids are beginning to feel more safe to have emotions and get things wrong and use their voice. This safety and power will allow them to share this power and light with friends and then colleagues and then their own children and then their children.
The bravery of a loving passionate mother to create change can literally bring regulation, safety and connection to hundreds if not thousands of people.
There are literally thousands of young people and unborn posterity waiting for YOU to take the brave step towards connection based parenting, leaving behind rewards, punishments, threats and bribes, to embrace validation, compassion, curiosity and regulation.
It might feel scary and that’s ok.
There is support awaiting you.
If you’re ready to take that first step towards connection based parenting, or to dive a little deeper to really root that safety and security for your teen in place, join The Rooted Relationship, my group parent coaching program where we take connection based parenting and apply it to YOUR teen.
|
